If she’s being honest, any editor will admit she has certain triggers. She sees certain errors or infelicities and her eye starts to twitch. Instead of a neat delete mark (or the electronic equivalent), she wants to scrawl a big red X on the offending words.
For me, one of these is the ghastly “If, then” sentence. If-then statements in computer programs are desirable — even vital — but in English prose…not so much.
Twenty times a day, I encounter a sentence like this one:
If a truck is racing down the street, then you shouldn’t enter the crosswalk.
And I dutifully cross out the abominable “then”:
If a truck is racing down the street, you shouldn’t enter the crosswalk.
To see the problem, flip the two parts of the sentence around — remember that the sentence should still make sense regardless of whether the prepositional phrase comes at the beginning or at the end. Which of the two sentences still makes sense? I’ll provide some extremely helpful clues below.
Then you shouldn’t enter the crosswalk if a truck is racing down the street. (Bad! BAD!)
You shouldn’t enter the crosswalk if a truck is racing down the street. (Good! GOOD!)
“Then” is typically useful only if you’re discussing a series of steps:
Look both ways. Then, if no trucks are racing down the street, you may enter the crosswalk.
Even here the “Then” is superfluous. The meaning would be perfectly clear without it. It’s used correctly, though, so it doesn’t make me froth at the mouth. Note that in this example the word “then” does not refer to the prepositional phrase beginning with the word “if” but rather to an event that transpires first. Do this; then do another thing. Look both ways; then enter the crosswalk.
By contrast, “If a truck is racing down the street” is not an action that you take. Therefore, the “then” that often appears in such sentences needs to be expunged, deleted, and thrown on a ceremonial pyre. It’s wrong.
Oh, it’s so very wrong.
Tell me that the issue is perfectly clear now. Tell me that you’ll never write an “If, then” sentence again. Go on — lie to me.
